if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
