either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
