Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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