He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
