I'm eating all of the evidence.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
