Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
