I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
