So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
