Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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