my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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