I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
