Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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