Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
