the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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