yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
