let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
