my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
