Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
