Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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