Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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