On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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