I hope mine doesn't look like that
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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