I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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