It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
