i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
