I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
