Capitaan dildo arrescate!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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