She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you had me at cake vodka
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
