i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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