belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
