Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
