she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't turn off my feet"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
