If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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