The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize