evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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