it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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