i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
