I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
