I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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