i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
