I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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