that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
