I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
