if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
