Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
