I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
