she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
