Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
