i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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