we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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