wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
