I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
