It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
