umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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