my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
