ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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