he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
