Your dad touched me again.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
