It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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