I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
